No matter how old I get or how much I mature, I often catch myself subconsciously comparing myself to others. I am very aware of the tendency to do this, so I fight it hard. However, there are times that this aptness just surfaces its ugly head without my being aware.
As a leader in the church, I really struggle with comparing myself to those who are "more successful" than I that are close to my age.
I am going to be raw and honest here: Last night - Thursday, August 22 - I lay in my bed and asked questioned like: "Why can't I have friends like them? What is it that God has done for them that He won't do for me? Why do they get to do all that is in their heart?"
When I say the word "hate", I mean I hate this about myself. I have those nerves that live in my stomach when I get into comparison mode. You?
Now, you have just witnessed one the most unhealthy parts of my life. The feelings, emotions, and questions above reveal so much about the poorness of my soul. I have issues folks. However, I try to do what my Lord would have me do and search His Word for my peace and acceptance. So I want to share two passages with you in hopes that you will grow as well.
2 Corinthians 10:12 Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.
Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
I sure wish that I could flesh out the scriptures above. I want to be totally and utterly free from comparison, however, I find myself in this trap more often than I would like to admit. I am going to continue to meditate and pray concerning my unhealthy perspective on my own life. Knowing how unwise comparison is to the soul, it is beneficial for us all to pray through and confess our proclivity to compare to God and to a trusted friend.
How do you fight this internal foe? Share your thoughts with me as we may be able to help one another.
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