Some time back, I met with a bishop of a church from Alabama. Me, Amber, and Carson were having dinner with he and his wife after a series of web design meetings. I can't tell you want spurred the conversation, but we got on the subject of anxiety.
I asked this man a very vulnerable question. "Bishop, do you ever get nerves in your stomach that seem to never leave?" He smiled.
I said, "It's like I am nervous or feel pressure or my nerves are in my stomach all the time. I mean ALL the time. Since I was an older teenage boy I have had this feeling of nervousness or anxiety. I can't give you a reason as to why I feel this out of control, but it never leaves. Things in life can be perfect, but I am constantly nervous."
He responded with wisdom and kindness. He let me know that he had struggled with this same thing for over thirty years. He then said that I needed medication to remedy my problem.
This gave me relief and troubled me at the same time. My wife was relieved as she explained to him the severity of what she was observing. She told him that I had not been myself for some time and it had gotten really worse over the last few months.
Amber was right. I had turned into a jerk. Ok, I was an ass, I admit it.
He gave Amber instant comfort as he explained to her that there was hope and help for my situation. This gave me some peace as well.
He told me that he had suffered with this for a long time and that he had been on medication and that this medication has changed his life for the better. His son was sitting next to me. He agreed with his father quickly.
It was here at his dinner table that Bob Hellmann helped me make the decision to do something immediately about this anxiety...or whatever it was that had a grip on me.
That next Monday I made an appointment and had an evaluation with our primary care physician. I was happy to hear that I was not bi-polar or suicidal. I kinda knew that...but it is alway good to hear that you are NOT those things. I could handle a little depression - but bi-polar? It scared my deeply.
The doctor told me exactly the same thing that the Bob had shared. She diagnosed with GAD or General Anxiety Disorder. It is amazing that the diagnosis made me less nervous. Isn't it an ironic thing to be told you are somewhat crazy and this instantly calmed me? Maybe this was a part of my craziness. I digress.
My sense of humor is a little warped at times. So in Matt Wade fashion, I asked her if she had any pills that I could snort. She did not find that funny. Puzzling...
I also asked her if she had anything size of a hockey puck. She cracked a little smile on that one.
She was ready for me to leave, so she handed me a bag of samples. Those samples became my best little friends.
I have been on Lexipro 20mg for over three years now and I am better for it. Bob Hellmann chose to become vulnerable and transparent with me and Amber that day. Because of his care for me, Amber and I live in a lot more peace. I don't live with that ole knot in my stomach everyday.
I am so happy that I met Bob Hellmann. What I thought was a business deal turned into him getting into my business and changing my life.
Bob, you may not be a household name, but you are famous in me and Amber's life. We love you tons. Thanks for helping me in an odd place in life.